What I’ve Gained is Much Greater than What I’ve Lost

I kind of fell of the map. I was blogging daily and then suddenly stopped. What happened you ask?
I lost 24lbs.
I initially started blogging to document my journey as I tried to get healthier and tried to take my family on the journey with me. I thought that if I could write about it and feel I was accountable to my readers that it would be easier to lose the weight and remain committed. But after weeks of blogging I was no further along in my weight loss and if you look back at my post you’ll notice I avoided the issue all together, Thank goodness that my kids offer up enough material that no one seemed to notice.
I started seeing a trainer on August 24th and as of today November 1 I have managed to lose 24lbs. I have never been able to lose so much weight so quickly and the best part is that I have never felt better. I’m not hungry, I’m not grumpy and my cravings are almost non existent…almost. I have complete eliminated refined sugar from my diet which is challenging especially f you refer back to my post: Why Work is making me Fat. In order to get around all the cake eating at work I now don’t sit at events and instead stand very close to the door. I stay for the presentation and necessary speeches but as soon as the cake starts being cut I make my exit. 

I weight train twice a week with my trainer, do cardio classes three times a week and have recently taken up hot yoga on Saturday mornings. (That experience is a blog all to itself. Stay tuned) It is amazing how far I have come physically in such a short time. I can keep up during the cardio classes and have moved up to some of the more challenging options in order to keep my heart rate up. I can feel muscle definition in my arms and sometimes when I pass a mirror I don’t even recognize the person on the other side.  Then this last Friday I checked my blood pressure and it turn out my heart rate has been reduced by 18 beats per minute.

But enough about the weight loss, something completely unexpected has happened, my kids are showing an interest in exercising. The boys have always been active in sports but now they want to do push ups and burpees. They like to grab my arms and feel my muscles. My Baby girl has even put on her shorts and joined me doing squats. MrLibertyDee is eating much better and has set up a gym in the garage and is using it.

I have spent years trying to get my family to eat better; I have spent endless hours telling the boys how important exercise is. I have spent the last 11 years taking care of the kids, the household and working full time but in all that time I was actually using these things as an excuse to not eat well myself ( “I have to eat on the go” ) I was making excuses to not go to the gym “ I cant’s just leave the kids” “I have laundry to do” “I need to spend sometime with my husband” “I’m too tired from work” “ I haven’t spent time with the dog” .

Then on August 24th I left the house to go meet my trainer. The kids lined up at the door like I was going off to war to say their goodbyes, MrLibertyDee made a face as I went out the door, but I left. I put it all behind me and I left. When I got back I was exhausted. I had not been physically challenged like that ever and I felt great. The next couple of visits to my trainer were pretty much the same but I kept going. Then one day, I left for the gym and everyone just said: “see you later mom” My excuses have stopped. There have been times I have to be at the gym at 6:00pm and I’m exhausted on the train and I stat thinking” maybe I’ll just go straight home” but then I force myself to go anyway and guess what I feel more energized by the time I get home. I caught a cold and again I thought maybe I shouldn’t work out but I pushed through and once at the gym I felt fine.

I have stopped telling everyone what they should eat. I have stopped telling them about the importance of exercise. I stopped worrying about them in that way and instead changed myself. Guess what’s happened?  I had been raising the kids in a “do as I say not as I do manner” without any success but now the kids see what I’m doing, see the results and want to do the same.

And so although I have lost 24 lbs, lost 2 dress sizes, and lost my excuses what I have gained is so much greater than what I have lost.

A Note from My Scale

scaleI was just laying there this morning thinking. I was thinking about how misunderstood I am. Women will come into the room and get on top of me, they rarely look pleased to see me and as a matter of fact they usually look down and twist their face in unspeakable ways.

Don’t shoot the messenger, I say. My job is to tell you how much you weigh. I was not created to tell you how beautiful you are or to measure your self worth. Heck! I can’t even tell if you’re healthy or not. All I can tell you is how much you weigh. Nothing less nothing more.

Let me give you an example. My favorite gym goer came in this morning, I have been seeing a lot of her lately and for the most part she’s just been passing me by hurrying to classes and home. Today she came in a bit earlier than usual and I could see her eyeing me. She finally approached and I was happy because I could feel that I was going to give her good news, she wasn’t going to make a twisted face and in turn she was going to speak highly of me all day. She took of her shoes and stepped on. My needle started to rise, and rise it actually rose 5 pounds more than it had last time she was on. “Shit!” I thought and sure enough there was that twisted face, the disappointment, The hatred in her eyes and of course the cursing  aimed directly at me.

She stepped off, stomped her shoes back on and stormed off. I’m pretty sure I could still here her cursing out the door. I wish I could have told her that perhaps she’d gained some muscle or that she was retaining water or that her heart is healthier than it has ever been but alas I could not. So I just lay there waiting. Waiting for the next woman, who is looking for me to give her something more than just her weight. But please understand your weight is all I have to give.