I was just laying there this morning thinking. I was thinking about how misunderstood I am. Women will come into the room and get on top of me, they rarely look pleased to see me and as a matter of fact they usually look down and twist their face in unspeakable ways.
Don’t shoot the messenger, I say. My job is to tell you how much you weigh. I was not created to tell you how beautiful you are or to measure your self worth. Heck! I can’t even tell if you’re healthy or not. All I can tell you is how much you weigh. Nothing less nothing more.
Let me give you an example. My favorite gym goer came in this morning, I have been seeing a lot of her lately and for the most part she’s just been passing me by hurrying to classes and home. Today she came in a bit earlier than usual and I could see her eyeing me. She finally approached and I was happy because I could feel that I was going to give her good news, she wasn’t going to make a twisted face and in turn she was going to speak highly of me all day. She took of her shoes and stepped on. My needle started to rise, and rise it actually rose 5 pounds more than it had last time she was on. “Shit!” I thought and sure enough there was that twisted face, the disappointment, The hatred in her eyes and of course the cursing aimed directly at me.
She stepped off, stomped her shoes back on and stormed off. I’m pretty sure I could still here her cursing out the door. I wish I could have told her that perhaps she’d gained some muscle or that she was retaining water or that her heart is healthier than it has ever been but alas I could not. So I just lay there waiting. Waiting for the next woman, who is looking for me to give her something more than just her weight. But please understand your weight is all I have to give.
I arrived at the gym just after 6:00am on Monday which meant I had missed the spinning class I wanted to go to. (excuse #1). I thought about just going across the street to the Tim Horton’s because I was still sleepy and hadn’t even had a coffee yet (excuse #2). I remembered that I had committed to the blogosphere that I was not going to make excuses and committed to myself to take better care of my health so I went inside. I did ten minutes on the elliptical because “I should take it easy after being away from the gym for a few weeks” (excuse #3) I then completed the weight circuit and felt pretty good because I did manage to increase the weight I had been comfortable with previously. I was even home before 7am which is when my husband leaves for work.
I was hungry by 7:30am and my fridge was looking very scarce (I avoided the grocery store this weekend because of Father’s day – Excuse #4). I finally landed on making myself a strawberry oatmeal smoothie. I then had to figure out what I was going to take to work for lunch and I really couldn’t find anything in the fridge (see excuse #4). I saw a box of egg whites in the fridge and had the brilliant idea of making myself a spinach omelet for lunch, but I had to leave the house in 15 minutes there was no way I had time to make an omelet . I guess I was just going to have to go to the food court (excuse#5) I again thought of my commitment to the blogosphere and made the omelet. It took 5 minutes!
Around noon I decided to head down to the gym that is just two blocks from my office and try out their midday Zumba class (more on that in a separate post) I had my gym clothes with me but there was no way I could get to the gym, do the class, get cleaned up and make it back to work plus I’d be all sweaty! Yuck! (excuse #6) I went anyway and so glad that I did. The class was great and yes I was rushing back and yes I was sweaty but guess what? I lived.
I did run into a bit of a “hic-up” on the way back. I was hot and sweaty and got a craving for a frozen coffee, I have always loved Slushies and now that I can get a frozen blended coffee I’m in heaven. Starbucks can make a low fat no sugar added blended coffee so its basically a frozen coffee with skim milk. I had also recently found a Starbucks gift card but the Starbucks would take me about two minutes out of my way when there was a perfectly good Timothy’s right by my work ( excuse #7) I opted for the Timothy’s and it turns out that their blended coffee is premixed with the sweetener. I couldn’t possibly say I didn’t want it. What if I hurt the cashier’s feelings ( excuse #8). I drank my frozen drink and then looked up the nutritional info, turns out that I had just taken in 230 calories (not earth shattering) and 29 grams of sugar! Aughhhh.
I made it through dinner with some soup and chicken and as soon as dinner was done the kids wanted to go bike riding. They are still not “bike riding alone” age specially because my 3 year old likes to follow behind in her tricycle. So when the kids wasn’t to go bike riding it means I go for a brisk walk trying to keep my daughter from trampling over the neighbourhood gardens and dogs with her tricycle. It was 7:30pm, we had just finished dinner, the dishwasher hadto be unloaded and reloaded, and the kitchen need to be cleaned I wasn’t about to go out now. (excuse #9) I sucked it up and off we went, as we were going out the door I was already saying “Ok. Ten minutes, that’s it. Everyone understand? Ten minutes.” An hour later we were walking back through our front door, we had gone around the block, up and down the trail by our house and even played a game of “I’m gonna catch you” at the park.
I felt great. I had walked off my dinner, spent some time with the kids and gotten more exercise than I would have ever imagined. The downside? With all those endorphins running through my body I just couldn’t get to sleep. It was way past midnight before I even went to bed. There was no way I was going to make it to the gym for 6:00am the next day. (excuse #10)
I truly believe that I can do anything. There was a point in my life where I was working full-time, had a part-time job, went school and had two small kids. After making it through that I realized I really could do anything if I could just stop making excuses. However I have been making excuses when it comes to my health for years. I’m generally healthy. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no back pain. I don’t even get colds often. I come from generations of very strong women who all lived into their nineties and lived the majority of their lives in good health.
The difference between them and me however is that they were all slim and were raised eating natural whole foods. I on the other hand have about 50 pounds to lose and although I make an effort to eat healthy, the convenience of prepackaged / pre-made / fast food frequently wins. The other huge difference is that all those women are on my mom’s side of the family and I tend to take after my dad’s side. My dad has struggled for years with Type 2 diabetes and recently suffered a heart attack.
I can go into my long list of excuses as to why I don’t have time for exercise, why I don’t have time to cook and how I just can’t turn down that slice of cake at work. And trust me I could write a few blogs on each one of those excuses but I know they are just excuses. I know I make choices everyday that will either help me reach my goals or work against me. I know that ultimately I am the only one responsible for my own health.
So here I am. It’s Sunday night ( I’ve been here before) and I am committing that starting this very minute I will take my health more seriously. That I will get some form of exercise everyday even if it’s just 10 minutes and that I will not binge on sweets and carbs. – Wish me luck.