The Worst Mom Ever is a title I wear proudly. I earned it. I had to dig deep into my values and sense of purpose to even be considered for the title. After years of hard work I have finally been bestowed the honour of being called The Worst Mom Ever.
I didn’t get a certificate or a medal or anything like that, which is too bad because if I had, I would hang it on the wall for all to see. The privilege of calling me The Worst Mom Ever is currently held by my two boys. They don’t call me by my “title” everyday, but when they do, I am validated as a mother because it serves as confirmation that I am doing the right thing as a parent.
Now, you should know that although I love the spotlight, I enjoy it even more when I can share it with others. Below, I will share with you some of the things that have helped earn me this coveted title so that you too can become The Worst Mom/Dad Ever.
Tell your 9 year old that it doesn’t matter if little Johnny’s parents let him play Call of Duty. He still can’t play.
Tell your kids they can’t stay up to watch Ultimate Fighting
Have your kids finish doing their homework before turning on the TV although there is a Phineas and Ferb marathon on.
Make the kids play outside on a beautiful sunny day even though there are only 2 days left until that Xbox game they took out from the library is due back.
Have them clean their room in hopes they find what’s causing that foul and mysterious smell.
This is just a small sample, but these definitely have played a huge part in obtaining my title. Feel free to try them too.
I am embracing it so wholeheartedly that I have even created a T-Shirt.
I had set a goal for myself to come up with some “blog names” for my kids this week ( you can read that post here) and I have. I wanted names that capture their personalities somehow or helped paint a picture of who they are. So without any further ado, let me introduce you to three little beings I have been blessed with. Starting from oldest to youngest:
The Plan – My first-born was two years in the making. Just when Mr.LibertyDee and I started considering adopting I was sent on a three-week business trip but I was flying home on the weekends. Turns out I got pregnant on one of these visits! Thank goodness the The Plan looks a lot like my husband or else that would have been a bit fishy. The Plan has an amazing memory which makes school a breeze for him. He loves to analyze everything, he’s a thinker has a quick witt ( that gets him in trouble) and he believes rules are there for a reason and should be followed at all times.
The Life – Our second son was born 360 days after The Plan. We knew we wanted more kids but since it took so long the first time, we were completely surprised when we found out I was pregnant again. I always say I was pregnant for two years because I never got a chance to not feel pregnant before I was expecting again. He gave us quite a scare and had to be delivered via emergency C-Section weighing only 5lbs 9oz at 37 weeks. The Life is the total opposite of The Plan. School is challenging but he would easily survive if left home alone for weeks because he’s resourceful. He doesn’t over think things which makes him a risk taker, he’s care free and just enjoys life. He believes rules are just guidelines that can be changed an altered depending on the situation.
Baby Girl – She is 7 years younger that The Life and completely unexpected. She is a complete terror angel. She is wise beyond her years and loves “girly” things. She’s opinionated and brave. She adores her brothers whom she refers to as “The Brothers” but terrorizes them but taking control of the TV or taking their stuff. I have realized that no matter what she will always be my baby girl. Although, for the first 6 months of her life we lovingly referred to her as The Kraken
I am left speechless on a regular basis as two how three children conceived by the same parents, raised by the same parents and living in the same community can all be so different. Life with them is a constant horror comedy of events as they try to kill get along and live their lives with their crazy parents .
Ever since I started writing this blog I have been stumped for “blog names” for my kids. I think the use of nicknames is important as one day our children will probably not appreciate the stories we share about them (because they are all true) and I know that for me, my oldest son, although he’s my biggest fan, has at times edited my writing where he thought he was being misrepresented.
Right now when I write about them I refer to them as My oldest, My middle son and either The girl or my Baby girl. I don’t like that naming convention for two reasons:
It doesn’t do their individuality any justice
As I read other family blogs there are all kinds of awesome names that have been given to the kids such as Thing 1 and Thing 2, Slim, and my favorite Fireball. These names help paint a picture, they build character and are just plain fun. So my goal for the rest of this week is to come up with some names.
I did have one idea but my husband thought it may cause permanent damage to the kids, The idea was this: