So how’s your Orange Rhino (No Yelling) challenge going you ask? Well let’s just say that my heart is definitely in the right place and that I am without a doubt yelling less. That’s a step right? The part that is going really well is the fact that I am learning why I yell and what those things are that set me off.
I’m then able to take that information and make changes to avoid them or at least think of alternative ways to deal with them. Let me give you a quick example. It used to be virtually impossible for me to leave the house in the morning without yelling at someone. I’m always running late and the kids take forever to get ready and get out of the house. I now (for the most part) make sure that I leave their clothes ready the night before as well as anything they may need to take with them. This has really helped to speed up my mornings and in turn I am yelling less.
When I do yell and of course deal with the subsequent guilt I am taking the time to figure out why it is that I shouldn’t have yelled. (Let me tell you there have been a handful of times that I did yell and did not feel guilty about it. Like the time recently, when Baby Girl bit The Plan like a crazed Pit-bull and I had to yell at her to release).
As part of this reflection I have found a few situations where I yell for really unnecessary and in truth really stupid reasons. Here is my list of the top 5 really stupid reasons I yell at my kids.
- They ask me the same question more than once. Ok, maybe twice or even three times. Regardless of how many times the question is asked this is a really dumb reason to yell at a child or anyone for that matter. Maybe they didn’t hear me, maybe they don’t know how else to make conversation or maybe just maybe they love the sound of my voice. Stupid.
- They yell at each other. Seriously? Do I really think that yelling at them because they are yelling is teaching them anything? Stupid.
- The TV, Video game, Toy is on too loud. I guess my philosophy on this one is to fight loud with loud? Stupid.
- They don’t want to do something that I think they will like. Well of course if I think it will be fun, then they are going to have fun. Even if I have to make everyone miserable in the process. Stupid.
- MrLibertyDee yells at them for something I think is unreasonable and I get so frustrated that he yelled at them that I turn around and yell at them. Yes I know. If anyone wants to give me the stupid award you can do so for this one.
The point is that now that I am aware that I do these stupid things I can work towards changing my behaviour. I’ll keep you posted. I’m sure there will be another list coming.