Battle of the GPS

About a year ago my GPS was stolen out of my car as it was parked at the train station for the day. It was one of those times where I should have listened to my gut. I had just gotten on the escalator down to the train when I remembered I had forgotten to put the GPS away. I remember that my. First instinct being to go back and put it away but then decided it would be ok. I was wrong. When I got back at the end of my day, my windown had been smashed and the GPS was gone. AUGHHH! I loved that GPS. I was born directionally challenged and that GPS had given me the freedom to go anywhere I desiredwithout looking like an idiot everytime MrLibertyDee tried to give me directions and I still had no clue where to go. To top it off the windown cost over $300 to replace when the GPS was only worth about $120.
No more than two weeks later we woke up early to leave for a road trip to Boston only to find out that someone had broken in to my husband’s car and stolen his GPS. But let me clarify, they didn’t exactly break in. MrLibertDee had left the doors unlocked so the GPS was simply taken form the car.
We were forced to buy a replacement GPS right away. A few years back we took a relatively short trip where I was asked to navigate with the use of a map. That 3 hour drive turned into a 6 hour drive (a friend who was biking there beat us to the hotel) and that trip almost ended our marriage. No joke. It got ugly.

We both have now ended up with different brands of GPS sysytems. I have a Garmin and he a TomTom. It’s become the battle of the GPS where each of us is convinced our respective GPS is the best. MrLibertyDee goes as far as installing his TomTom into my car when he’s driving it.
We too a short trip this past weekend and MrLibertDee decided that this trip was going to put an end the the GPS battle once and for all. There was going to be a clear winner. Here is how he intended to do it :

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Garmin vs TomTom

It turns out that although my Garmin can recalculate a route the instant you make a wrong turn, where the TomTom took at least 3 minutes, MrLibertyDee still insists the TomTom is superior (I think it maybe the British accent the GPS that has him hooked) So the battle lives on…..

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Bed Time Ailments – Bedtitis

It turns out my baby girl is suffering from bed time induced leg pain, tummy aches, head aches, itchy eyes, cold foot, knee pain, elbow pain and even the dreaded bumpiness (not sure what this even means) which leaves her feeling either too hot or too cold.

This mysterious ailment is not brought on at a particular time of day but rather by the act of putting her into her pajamas and into bed. The symptoms are inconsistent and also result in excessive whining that should be taken very very seriously because if for a moment she even senses you may think any of this is funny, the aliment causes crying and spontaneous fear of the dark even if she has been known to hide in closets.

The bright side of this, is that there are two known cures that work immediately.

  1. Parental Interruptis –  This consists of placing baby girl between her parents for the night.  The positive effects of this are that all symptoms immediately disappear and she quickly falls asleep. The downside is that her parents are kept apart for the evening and are woken through the night by smacks and kicks.
  2. Televisionicin– This is the miracle cure, where as parental interruptis only starts to work once she is in the parental bed, Televisionicin works the moment you mention it. The down side to this one is that it only provides temporary relief as the symptoms return the moment it’s bed time again.

I’m trying my best to help my baby girl get through this but my patience is wearing thin. I think I may be suffering from Lackofpatiencealeousis.

Introducing….

I had set a goal for myself to come up with some “blog names” for my kids this week ( you can read that post here) and I have.  I wanted names that capture their personalities somehow or helped paint a picture of who they are. So without any further ado, let me introduce you to three little beings I have been blessed with. Starting from oldest to youngest:

  1. The Plan – My first-born was two years in the making. Just when Mr.LibertyDee and I started considering adopting I was sent on a three-week business trip but I was flying home on the weekends.  Turns out I got pregnant on one of these visits! Thank goodness the The Plan looks a lot like my husband or else that would have been a bit fishy. The Plan has an amazing memory which makes school a breeze for him. He loves to analyze everything, he’s a thinker has a quick witt ( that gets him in trouble) and he believes rules are there for a reason and should be followed at all times.
  2. The Life – Our second son was born 360 days after The Plan. We knew we wanted more kids but since it took so long the first time, we were completely surprised when we found out I was pregnant again. I always say I was pregnant for two years because I never got a chance to not feel pregnant before I was expecting again. He gave us quite a scare and had to be delivered via emergency C-Section weighing only 5lbs 9oz at 37 weeks. The Life is the total opposite of  The Plan. School is challenging but he would easily survive if left home alone for weeks because he’s resourceful. He doesn’t over think things which makes him a risk taker, he’s care free and just enjoys life. He believes rules are just guidelines that can be changed an altered depending on the situation.
  3. Baby Girl – She is 7 years younger that The Life and completely unexpected. She is a complete terror  angel. She is wise beyond her years and loves “girly” things. She’s opinionated and brave. She adores her brothers whom she refers to as “The Brothers” but terrorizes them but taking control of the TV or taking their stuff. I have realized that no matter what she will always be my baby girl. Although, for the first 6 months of her life we lovingly referred to her as The Kraken

I am left speechless on a regular basis as two how three children conceived by the same parents, raised by the same parents and living in the same community can all be so different. Life with them is a constant horror comedy of events as they try to kill get along and live their lives with their crazy parents .

My Kids
My Kids

Why is a Unicorn Better Than a Pony?

They say kids say the darndest things. Over the past few weeks I have definitely heard my share so here are the top three quotes from my kids over the past 30 days.

  1. “I’m not a know it all. I’m just better than everyone else at the things I do.” – My eldest explaining why his friend is a know it all  but he’s not.
  2. “I’ll take a Unicorn because they poop out candy” – My younger son explaining why unicorns are better than a pony.
  3. “My daddy takes long in the bathroom because he has a really big penis so it takes him longer to pee.” – My baby girl randomly to her grandma over a snack.

A Fleeting Moment

We are cottage sitting for friends, and drove up on Sunday to spend the day there.  It is about a three hour drive including the “I need to pee” I’m hungry” and “my bum hurts” stops but it’s worth it even for just for a day because it’s an absolutely lovely, quiet place on the water with plenty to keep the kids busy.
Although they had been calling for rain, by the time we got there the weather was just as I like it . The clouds were covering the sun, there was a slight breeze and some how there were no bugs out.
The boys and baby girl had settled in front of the TV to play their favorite X Box game ( yes X Box at the cottage but that’s a whole other post) and Mr.Libertydee was going to take a nap on the couch. I ceased the opportunity and snuck out the back door onto the deck.
I pulled out a chair and sat looking towards the water. There is somehing so peaceful about a body of water. I looked out and just smiled to myself. What a wonderful moment. The stillness, with ony the sound of the birds in the background. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone to take a picyure. An attempt to not just capture the moment but to hold on to it. Here is what I was seeing:

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As I was putting the phone back in my pocket, I heard a tap, tap, tap. Must be a woodpecker I thought and I looked up into the trees to try and catch a glimpse. Then Knock, knock, knock. The sound was coming from behind me. Oh NO! A child had found me! They must be at the sliding door behind me. Don’t look back. I told myself. But then…
KNOCK..KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK and a very faint mooommmy!  I was too weak to resist looking back. I turned around to find my baby girl pressed up against the sliding door calling for me.
I’m glad I have taken up blogging because where I normally would have felt frustrated that my tranquility was nothing but a fleeting moment , I can now take the opportunity to snap a picture. Oh well, so much for peace and quite.

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Blame it on the O..O.O..O Orange Juice Baby

My Bay girl has figured out how to use You Tube which is helpful because she can now switch her own Dora Videos. The downside? She wa dringinmg her organge juive by teh computer and spilled it all over the keyboard. I though I cleaned it prettu well but now most of teh keys are sticky resulting in this.  Yu have any idea how long writng is going to take now?

Banned Substances on the GO

I just made it onto the train home.  It was crowded, it was hot and I was exhausted. There was one seat remaining that was right between two people. I usually don’t like to squeeze in between people but I did not want to stand for the 45 minute ride.

I plopped into the available seat, exhaled, tilted my head back, and closed my eyes. I needed a moment of silence, to rest my eyes from starring at a screen all day, and clear my mind in preparation for getting home to the kids.

It started with some rustling. I had my eyes closed but I could tell that the woman next to me was looking for something in her purse. Then the smell hit me. I initially recognized the smell as  barbeque chips.

Suddenly………

Crunch

The sound was so LOUD that it startled me and my eyes flew open. The I heard it again…..

three chrunch

I looked to my left and the woman next to me was eating barbeque flavoured corn nuts. Corn nuts? Corn nuts.  I realized that one never realizes how smelly and noisy corn nuts are until one is  trying to get some rest after a long day at work.

I tried to close my eyes again and tune out the sound but I had become so aware of it that I could hear every crunch. This went on and on until she got off at the stop just before mine (about 35 minutes)

Based on this experience and other of a similar nature I have decided to send a suggestion to the Transit Commissioner asking that a they add a Banned Substances section to their Rider Code of Conduct. The banned substances would be as follows:

  1. Corn Nuts of any kind – no further explanation required
  2. Tuna – or fish of any kind but I have yet to see someone eating cod on the train so tuna should do it.
  3. Hard Boiled Eggs – I don’t think I need to elaborate.

Do you have anything you’d add to this list?

A.K.A Surprise!

Ever since I started writing this blog I have been stumped for “blog names” for my kids. I think the use of nicknames is important as one day our children will probably not appreciate the stories we share about them (because they are all true) and I know that for me, my oldest son, although he’s my biggest fan, has at times edited my writing where he thought he was being misrepresented.

Right now when I write about them I refer to them as My oldest, My middle son and either The girl or my Baby girl. I don’t like that naming convention for two reasons:

  1. It doesn’t do their individuality any justice
  2. It’s boring

As I read other family blogs there are all kinds of awesome names that have been given to the kids such as Thing 1 and Thing 2, Slim, and my favorite Fireball. These names help paint a picture, they build character and are just plain fun.  So my goal for the rest of this week is to come up with some names.

I did have one idea but my husband thought it may cause permanent damage to the kids, The idea was this:

  1. My 10 year old would be  ” The Plan”
  2. My 9 year old would be ” Surprise”
  3. My 3 year old would simply be “Oops!”

What do you think? Too honest?

The F Word and the Meltdown

I had a brilliant idea today. Since I was going to pick my boys up from camp, and the community center is right across the street from the mall why not take them over for some frozen yogurt? I was so excited about this that I though hey I’ll even throw in some sprinkles.

Let’s just get this out of the way right now, this was NOT a good idea. I had my baby girl with me (she’s 3) and when we entered the mall it was right where they have those little carts you can rent to take you child around in. At this particular place the carts are shaped like fire trucks and cost $7.00 to rent.

$7! Doesn’t that sound a bit ridiculous to you? I’m willing to pay maybe $5 or even place a $20 deposit but to pay $7 to push my kid around? Nope it isn’t going to happen.  Now, maybe if it was Christmas and the mall was packed and I was going to be there a few hours the $7 may be worth it but on this particular occasion it was going to be straight to the Yogen Fruz and out.

It turns out that my daughter doesn’t quite feel the same way about the $7 than I do and ran straight for the fire truck carts as we walked in.( I wish she still used a stroller but she refused to sit in once since she was two.) I explained very rationally that we were not getting a fire truck today because we were just getting frozen yogurt. The crying started.

Most of you will recognize what happened next but I’ll outline it in 15 steps below:

  1. I say” oh sweetie, I know your upset because you want to ride in the Fire truck. Next time we come shopping we’ll get one.
  2. Crying gets louder.
  3. “Baby girl, come on lets go get frozen yogurt.
  4. “I don’t want yogurt! I WANT THE FIRETRUCK!”
  5. “let’s go”
  6. “NO!” and she sits on the floor
  7. “I’m going to count to three and then I’m leaving without you.”
  8. “NOOOO!!” Stomping feet.
  9. “One…..Twoooooo…..Thhhhhrreeeee?”
  10. Louder “NOOOO!!” Stomping feet.
  11. I begin to walk away with the boys. My younger one asks ‘We’re not going to leave her are we? The older ones says “you should leave her there.”
  12. I get a good distance away and look back, the crying has stopped and she is looking for a way to get into the truck.
  13. I wait.
  14. I wait.
  15. I stomp back over, grab her by the hand and pull her to the Yogen Fruz.
Trying to find a way in
Trying to find a way in

Once we are in front of the frozen yogurt display she looks up at me and simply sates. “I want sprinkles”. That was it. Melt down over just like that.

Who would have thought that the nastiest word of the day starting with F and ending in U.C.K would be Fire truck? AUGHHH!