It turns out my baby girl is suffering from bed time induced leg pain, tummy aches, head aches, itchy eyes, cold foot, knee pain, elbow pain and even the dreaded bumpiness (not sure what this even means) which leaves her feeling either too hot or too cold.
This mysterious ailment is not brought on at a particular time of day but rather by the act of putting her into her pajamas and into bed. The symptoms are inconsistent and also result in excessive whining that should be taken very very seriously because if for a moment she even senses you may think any of this is funny, the aliment causes crying and spontaneous fear of the dark even if she has been known to hide in closets.
The bright side of this, is that there are two known cures that work immediately.
- Parental Interruptis – This consists of placing baby girl between her parents for the night. The positive effects of this are that all symptoms immediately disappear and she quickly falls asleep. The downside is that her parents are kept apart for the evening and are woken through the night by smacks and kicks.
- Televisionicin– This is the miracle cure, where as parental interruptis only starts to work once she is in the parental bed, Televisionicin works the moment you mention it. The down side to this one is that it only provides temporary relief as the symptoms return the moment it’s bed time again.
I’m trying my best to help my baby girl get through this but my patience is wearing thin. I think I may be suffering from Lackofpatiencealeousis.